Divorce & Estate Planning

The Importance of Estate Planning Documents When Divorcing in Florida

Few couples enter marriage already anticipating divorce; otherwise, why would they go through with the wedding. People also do not marry, contemplating their eventual deaths. They are thinking of the full lives ahead of them to spend together. For these reasons, estate planning ends up getting pushed back of mind. Couples may believe that their assets will naturally pass down to their children or parents.

But while conversations surrounding untimely deaths or the potential of divorce are uncomfortable, they are necessary to have. Because while you and your spouse may have created an estate plan and assigned beneficiaries, that agreement on who should inherit your assets may change when you part ways. Here are the top reasons why discussing estate planning with your divorce lawyer is crucial:

Legal Safeguards Protect Assets and Persons

Estate planning documents like Powers of Attorney, Durable Powers of Attorney, Last Will and Testaments, Healthcare Surrogates, and Living Wills protect your assets and the people important to you. If you do not update these during a pending divorce and you die before your divorce is finalized, the last provisions in your estate plans will remain effective. This means that all your assets may still go to the spouse you are in the process of divorcing. A recent example of this is Radio Host Larry King.  He was in the middle of a divorce and died.  There is currently litigation of whether a handwritten last-minute change is a valid will under state law.

Provisions of a Will That Become Void Upon Divorce

According to Florida Statutes 732.507 on Estates and Trusts, “any provision of a will executed by a married person that affects the spouse of that person shall become void upon the divorce of that person or upon the dissolution or annulment of the marriage.”

While this seems reasonable given that you’re divorcing and don’t want your ex-spouse to be entitled to your assets after your death, this poses a problem if they are the only person named in your will. This may cause family drama should adult children or relatives feel entitled to an inheritance.

Protecting Your Beneficiaries

Assets that do not go through probate include life insurance policies, employee benefit plans, bank accounts, and individual retirement plans. Until the divorce is final, the spouse named the beneficiary in the estate plan will still be entitled to inherit these non-probate assets. Protect your beneficiaries by updating your estate planning documents as soon as you begin the divorce process.

If your beneficiary is a minor child, remember that Florida state laws require guardianship until your child turns 18. Update your estate planning documents if you don’t think it is acceptable that your ex-spouse, appointed guardian, may gain control of the assets you leave behind to your child.

Conclusion

When you first created your estate plan, you may have only named your spouse as the sole beneficiary. And even if your ex-spouse is no longer entitled to your assets once your divorce is finalized, you should still update your estate planning documents to ensure your assets are allocated based on your final wishes. A lot can change over the years; you may have children, commit to a charity, or belong to an organization.

It is also important to remember that some divorces can take years to resolve. Much can happen during a multi-year divorce battle, making it crucial to prioritize estate planning.

If you would like to discuss the specifics of your estate planning and divorce or need help with other family law issues call Debora A. Diaz Esquire at 727-846-1802 to schedule a consultation or use the Scheduling Link: https://deboradiazlawscheduling.as.me/.  At this time, all consultations are by telephone or video conferencing in order to protect our staff and clients.

Attorney Diaz practices exclusively in divorce and family law in Florida. Debora A. Diaz is also a Florida Supreme Court Certified Family Mediator.

 Contact Debora A Diaz today to learn more about the importance of estate planning and divorce.

Written by Debora A. Diaz, Esq.

How to Achieve a Modification of Alimony
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How to Achieve a Modification of Alimony

In order to have the alimony you are currently ordered to pay reduced or stopped altogether, you must file a petition.  This will allow for modification of your current alimony payments if the burden is met. If you believe you are eligible to stop paying alimony altogether, your attorney may file a Petition for Abatement. Your petition will be filed in court.  Depending on the rules of your local court, a modification may reopen your prior divorce case.  You may be required to institute a new action.

To reopen your original divorce case, your attorney may use the case number from your original divorce as well as the same style of heading.

If it is for a new case, you are petitioning the court for a modification of alimony and your former spouse is responding to that petition.

You will receive a new case number and will probably pay a filing fee.

Process

Your petition may be served on your ex through a process server or through a law enforcement official in your county. When the petition is served, a Return of Service will be issued, providing a record of when your ex-spouse was served. At this point, the receiving spouse has the right to file an answer to your petition or a counter-petition.  Then your attorney will be required to file an answer to the counter-petition, on your behalf.

Mandatory Disclosure

You will be required to produce financial disclosure documents to prove your case. You may have to produce bank statements, pay stubs, any other proof of income, or notice of a lay-off (if this is your reason for requesting a modification).

False Information Provided By Your Ex During the Divorce

If you are filing for a modification or abatement of alimony based on the fact that your spouse provided false information during the divorce which resulted in the alimony award, you will be required to produce documentation to prove such fraud. For claims of fraud, there is a specific time limit for filing for a modification of alimony.

Burden

The Florida courts require that to obtain a modification of alimony there must be a substantial change in circumstances since the original order of alimony.  This change in circumstances was not contemplated during the original proceedings and the change is “sufficient, material, involuntary and permanent in nature.”

Is a Decreased Ability to Pay Sufficient to Warrant a Modification of Alimony?

A decreased ability to pay may justify alimony modification so long as it is not voluntary, and it appears the change is more than short-term. In 1992, the Florida Supreme Court held that voluntary retirement on the part of the spouse paying alimony could be considered a change of circumstances that warranted reduction or termination of alimony. While the court did not specifically address the “allowable” age of retirement, they did indicate that retirement prior to age 65 would likely be presumed unreasonable. An improvement of the economic situation on the part of the receiving spouse may or may not warrant a modification of alimony.

Alimony Factors

The circumstances of both parties will be scrutinized to determine whether a reduction in alimony is justified. Suppose the receiving spouse’s income increased significantly, but so, too, did the paying spouse’s income. In such a situation, the court might not agree to a modification. On the other hand, if the paying spouse was making $60,000 per year at the time of the divorce while the receiving spouse was making $15,000, yet five years later the paying spouse was still making $60,000 per year while the receiving spouse was bringing in $45,000, this could be reason enough for the courts to approve a modification of alimony award.

Income is not the only factor; gifts, inheritance, and lottery winnings may also be considered when determining the outcome of a modification of alimony. Increased need—on its own—may not qualify for an increase in alimony, and expenses related to a subsequent marriage will also not support a modification of alimony.  If you are considering a modification of alimony it is recommended to consult with an experienced family law attorney to discuss the applicable law and all of your options.

If you would like to discuss the specifics of your alimony modification or need help with other family law issues call Debora A. Diaz Esquire at 727-846-1802 to schedule a consultation or use the Scheduling Link: https://deboradiazlawscheduling.as.me/.  At this time, all consultations are by telephone or video conferencing in order to protect our staff and clients.

Attorney Diaz practices exclusively in divorce and family law in Florida. Debora A. Diaz is also a Florida Supreme Court Certified Family Mediator.

Written by Debora A. Diaz, Esq.

Narcissist Spouse
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How to Protect Yourself When Divorcing a Narcissist

Narcissists believe the rules, even the law, do not apply to them. They enjoy the hostile nature of divorce and will manipulate the system in whatever way they can in order to “win.”

Narcissist: To a narcissist, divorce is not only a failure: but a dark mark on their perfect reputation. Because they cannot tolerate anything less than perfection, their coping mechanism is to place all the blame on you. It does not matter if they were the ones who initiated the divorce, even your existence is a reminder of their failure, and therefore you must be punished.

Divorcing a Narcissist: Typically, a divorce involving a narcissist is at higher risk of becoming highly conflictual. In these situations, it is necessary to look for help from a divorce attorney experienced in dealing with this personality type. You must be clear about what you are going to face during this procedure. Here are five ways to protect yourself from a narcissist.

Accept that narcissists won’t “get over it.”

Narcissists are not capable of empathy. They only care about their own needs. And during the divorce, they need to transfer the shame onto you. To prevent the mind games that narcissists often play, try looking for a therapist or counselor. They can teach you coping skills so you can deal with any emotional difficulties that will come your way.

Prepare for bad-mouthing. 

A narcissist will trash you to anyone who may listen: the teachers, the nannies, or family doctors. While you know that these attacks are the narcissist’s projections, and you shouldn’t take them personally, you should be proactive, especially if you are battling for custody. Make sure you show everyone involved that you are a responsible parent.

Bad boundaries 

A narcissist cannot accept limits. They can’t handle not being in control of every moment of the children’s lives, and they are scared that they will love you more than they love them. Their attempts to regain control will lead to dramatic boundary-breaking. Expect that they will try to tear you down, so be sure to keep your boundaries firm.

Consult with your attorney if you should get these kinds of issues and get boundaries written into your divorce agreement and child custody order. Also, notice a narcissist who has crossed the line to stalking or harassment. In these cases, issuing a Temporary Restraining Order may be needed.

Cyberbullying 

The emotional abuse usually continues via nasty texts and messages now that you’re separated. Keep your responses as brief as possible and try to limit your communication to a maximum of once a day. Sometimes the best response is no response.

You also may need to block them or, likewise, if this behavior appears to get to the level of stalking or cyber harassment, a law enforcement intervention may be needed.

You now get the role of hired help. 

You are not a co-parent anymore; you are now considered a nanny or a maid. Especially if you are getting child support, the narcissist can treat you as if you are his employee and must do as they say.

This is why getting it in writing is crucial. When divorcing a narcissist, an oral agreement to pay child support probably will not do. Having a court order can help prevent the withholding of payments.

Keep in mind that you will not be able to change your ex, but you can know what to expect so you can prevent the damage.

If you would like to discuss the specifics of your divorce or paternity case or need help with other family law issues call Debora A. Diaz Esquire at 727-846-1802 to schedule a consultation or use the Scheduling Link: https://deboradiazlawscheduling.as.me/.  At this time, all consultations are by telephone or video conferencing in order to protect our staff and clients.

Attorney Diaz practices exclusively in divorce and family law in Florida. Debora A. Diaz is also a Florida Supreme Court Certified Family Mediator.

Written by Debora A. Diaz, Esq.

Choose Divorce Attorney
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How Do I Choose A Divorce Attorney?

Choosing an attorney is the most important step of a divorce process.

Here is some advice to consider to help you with your search!

Understand the Role of an Attorney

Divorce is undoubtedly emotionally draining. But it is better to call a friend, family member, or therapist who can and be there for you and listen to your concerns.

Fees

Although your divorce attorney is also “there for you,” they are probably charging hourly, so you should use this time to strategize instead of to vent.

Know What You Need to Get Out of Divorce

If there are children or significant assets involved, it is likely your divorce may end up in a trial. But if you and your ex-partner can settle the separation outside of court, a lawyer who is also an experienced mediator could be better suited for you.

Research Divorce Attorneys Near You

If you have never looked for an attorney before, you may not know where to begin. If you asked for referrals from friends and family but still could not find anyone, contact your state Bar Association.

Once you have found some names, visit their websites, and check who you will work with, the types of divorce cases the firm deals with, and other variables that can make choosing easier. Also read all of their reviews on Google and other sites if available.

Schedule Meetings With Your Top Choices

Once you’ve narrowed down your options, schedule a few meetings with your top choices. Some attorneys offer reduced rates, so remember to ask when you plan the meeting. Come prepared with any documents you might need for this first meeting. The more information you can give, the better you will be able to decide if this firm is right for you. Also, do not be afraid to ask questions.

Find a Good Negotiator

The goal of the divorce should be to come to a fair settlement and to avoid court. Some lawyers prefer to fight in a trial, but that method makes the case much longer and much more expensive. By reading attorney backgrounds and reviews you should get a sense of what their philosophy is and how they approach cases.

Find Someone Who Has Experience With Your Interests

If you have children and can predict a problematic custody dispute, you need to be sure your attorney is very familiar with how the support and custody laws work in your area. But if you have a business and the lawyer does not have much experience with business distribution and valuation, you may want to keep looking.

Ask the Right Questions

When you meet with a lawyer, bring a list of questions about your concerns in the divorce case and your concerns in choosing an attorney. Ask how the firm bills its clients and about the billing rates for every person who will be working on your case.

Communication With Office

Be sure your attorney or someone else in the office will return your phone calls within a reasonable time and that you will get copies of all correspondence and pleadings received and generated. Also, be careful if an attorney guarantees certain results. They can only promise to use their best efforts in representing you.

Develop Good Communication

Above all else, you and your attorney have to be able to communicate effectively. Your attorney can give you your choice of options and suggest the probable outcome of each option. Remember, nothing is certain here, and there are no guarantees.

Takeaway

Getting divorced is certainly a difficult process, one that you will definitely handle better with a good attorney by your side. Do your research, meet with your top choices, and you will be able to make the right decision.

Attorney Diaz has over 25 years of practice in family law issues.  If you would like to discuss the specifics of your divorce case or need help with a family law case, call Debora A. Diaz Esquire at 727-846-1802 to schedule a consultation or use the Scheduling Link: https://deboradiazlawscheduling.as.me/.  At this time, all consultations are by telephone or video conferencing in order to protect our staff and clients.

Attorney Diaz practices exclusively in divorce and family law in Florida. Debora A. Diaz is also a Florida Supreme Court Certified Family Mediator.

Written by Debora A. Diaz, Esq.

Spouse asked for Divorce
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My Spouse Just Asked for a Divorce- What Do I Do Now?

If your spouse just asked for a divorce, you are probably feeling lost and scared. Here are some steps to get you through one of life’s most stressful situations.

Ask Your Partner If Divorce is Really the Answer

Why do they want a divorce? How did it get to this point? Could counseling work? Is there a chance of reconciliation? Do they want to see you change and admit mistakes? An important step in the divorce process is being sure that divorce is the answer.

Get Empowered

When people are facing a divorce, they go through feeling scared, sad, and shocked. Try to see this as an opportunity for a fresh start in life. You need to realize that divorce does not mean you have failed. Instead of ruminating about why the marriage did not work, focus on what you want to get out of the divorce. Next, you need to let go of blame. Fighting with your partner or retaliating against them will certainly leave you in a worse place emotionally and financially.

Get Educated

Learn all you can about the divorce laws in your state. Will your property be divided 50/50 or equitably? Do you have a prenuptial agreement? How do you plan to handle custody matters?

The three main topics of divorce are generally child custody, property division, and spousal support. Make a plan and list out your most important goals.

Find a Good Lawyer

Find an experienced attorney who will put your financial and personal interests first. Do not use the same attorney you share with your partner. Ask about the attorney’s detailed fees for services and make sure you feel comfortable with them.

Your divorce lawyer should know how to safeguard your assets, and, ideally, they should also have contacts in tax law, real estate law, and business law. Try to get referrals for attorneys from your trusted family members, friends, and business associates.

Make an Appointment with a Divorce Attorney

Choosing an attorney to meet with is the most important decision that you need to make. Make this decision as soon as possible so that you can be informed about the divorce process. You need to meet with the lawyer and have a feel for how willing they are to tell you things you do not like to hear, and then decide who to hire. The person you choose must be willing and able to tell you the truth in this emotionally difficult time. If you are not certain about whether you should hire a particular attorney, make another appointment with them, or meet with someone else.

Close Joint Accounts

Consider closing credit accounts that your partner has access to in order to protect your credit rating. The goal is to prevent your partner from making large debts before you finalize the divorce.

With joint credit cards, you are responsible for any debts taken on by your partner, and if they can’t pay the debts, you may be held accountable.

Keep Your Children Away

You do not want to have your children around when you are hanging around a courthouse, fighting with your spouse, or sitting in your lawyer’s office having conversations that are only meant for adults.

Takeaway

If divorce is the only option, it is best for you to get educated and empowered and to get a good lawyer. It may be difficult, but you will get through this with the right support.

If you would like to discuss the specifics of your divorce case or need help with other family law issues call Debora A. Diaz Esquire at 727-846-1802 to schedule a consultation or use the Scheduling Link: https://deboradiazlawscheduling.as.me/.  At this time, all consultations are by telephone or video conferencing in order to protect our staff and clients.

Attorney Diaz practices exclusively in divorce and family law in Florida. Debora A. Diaz is also a Florida Supreme Court Certified Family Mediator.

Written by Debora A. Diaz, Esq.

Top 5 Time Sharing Calendar Programs for Co-Parenting
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Learning how to co-parent can be challenging. To manage it well, you need to be flexible, patient, able to compromise, and you should use every type of support you can get. This is where a great co-parenting app comes in handy.

When your kid(s) are going back and forth between your ex-partner’s house and yours, organization is essential. So how can you pull this off? Co-parenting apps are there to make your life just a little easier. These are some of the highly recommended options:

1. The Family Core

This app is great, not just for co-parents but caregivers in general. It allows anyone you choose to access your kid’s schedule, so you can together more easily organize parenting time or drop-offs and pickups, doctors’ appointments, school events, etc. And it is completely customizable.

2. 2houses

This app provides a way to communicate with your ex-partner when phone, text, or email are not working. The app helps parents keep track of all activities, schedules, and exchange information concerning their kid(s), from school appointments to medical notes. 2houses also provides a messaging option, mediator access, and document storage, both for iOS and Android.

3. Cozi

This award-winning program lets you create a shared calendar, shopping and to-do lists, and meal plans. With its cool features and easy-to-use interface, Cozi is one of the best co-parenting apps available.

4. Coparently

This app offers all the tools you need to make co-parenting as simple as possible, with its color-coded custody calendars, records for shared expenses, a secure messenger, and a shared online directory for all important contact information (doctors, babysitters, friends). Coparently lets you add your kid(s) to the account so they can use it to communicate with you, but they won’t have access to other features.

5. Our Family Wizard

This app is an online tool designed specifically for co-parents. It lets parents manage all aspects of their shared parenting agreement in one space, from calendars and schedules to expenses. Our Family Wizard also provides Apple and Android users apps for communication on the go.

6. Custody X Change

This app was developed by legal professionals, and it tracks the time each parent spends with their kid(s). Custody X Change’s features include time-stamped journal entries, expenses tracking options, and communication tools designed to help co-parents uphold their custody plan.

7. Talking Parents

This smart app was designed to increase the accountability of co-parents while reducing conflict. It tracks communication between co-parents and provides features like shared calendars, communications, and documents, all stored as unchangeable records that you can access and use later if needed.

8. WeParent

The creator of WeParent, who received a Ph.D. in Psychology, used psychological research to create an app that reduces stress and conflict in divorced parents’ relationships. It helps you manage appointments and events, documents, custody schedules, expenses, and messaging. The goal is to minimize or eliminate conflicts and help parents focus on raising healthy and happy kids.

If you have questions about divorce, child support, shared parental responsibility, time-sharing/parenting time, and parenting plans, contact Debora A. Diaz Esquire at 727-846-1802 to schedule a consultation or use the Scheduling Link: https://deboradiazlawscheduling.as.me/.

At this time, all consultations are by telephone or video conferencing in order to protect our staff and clients.

Attorney Diaz practices exclusively in divorce and family law in Florida. Debora A. Diaz is also a Florida Supreme Court Certified Family Mediator.

Written by Debora A. Diaz, Esquire.

Best Interest Children Florida Statute 61.13
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In cases of marriage dissolution or petition for paternity, parents who will share time with their minor child or children are required by Florida law to have a written parenting plan. For it to be approved by the court, it must detail a plan of how the parents will share responsibilities in daily parenting tasks, health care, school-related matters, and other activities. The parenting plan should also outline the child’s time-sharing schedule and the communication methods and technologies that the parents will use to communicate with each other and the child.

However, when it comes to the negotiation and agreement of shared parental responsibility and time-sharing/parenting time in a child custody matter, decisions are not made by whichever parent or primary caregiver has spent the most time with the child. While they may feel they know the child best, a judge ultimately makes decisions in child custody disputes using the “best interests of the child” as the primary consideration if the parties are not in agreement.

What does “best interests of the child” in Florida mean? 

Florida Statute 61.13(3) provides a list of 20 factors to help determine “the best interests of the child.” The judge may consider any factor that is relevant to the individual situation. The 20 factors can be categorized under the demonstrated capacity and disposition of each parent to fulfill parenting responsibilities, the health and safety of the child, the child’s emotional and developmental needs, and the moral fitness of each parent. Here is a summary of the 20 factors:

1. Demonstrated capacity and disposition to honor the time-sharing schedule and maintain a close parent-child relationship
2. The anticipated division of parental responsibilities
3. Demonstrated capacity and disposition of each parent to act upon the needs of the child
4. Length of time the child has lived in a stable environment
5. Geographic viability of the parenting plan
6. Moral fitness of the parents
7. Mental and physical health of the parents
8. The child’s home, school, and community record
9. The child’s preference
10. Demonstrated knowledge of each parent to be informed and involved in the child’s life, including knowing the child’s friends, daily activities, and favorite things
11. Demonstrated capacity of each parent to provide a consistent routine
12. Demonstrated capacity of each parent to communicate with the other parent
13. Evidence of domestic violence, sexual violence, child abuse, child abandonment, or child neglect
14. Evidence that either parent has knowingly provided false information to the court
15. The extent of the parenting tasks performed by each parent
16. Demonstrated capacity of each parent to be involved in the child’s school and extracurricular activities
17. Demonstrated capacity of each parent to maintain a substance-free environment for the child
18. The capacity of each parent to protect the child from ongoing litigation
19. Demonstrated capacity of each parent to meet the child’s developmental needs
20. Any other factors relevant to the parenting plan, including the time-sharing schedule.

What Happens if Parties do not Reach Agreement? 

I must stress that if the parties cannot reach an agreement on shared parental responsibility and time-sharing ultimately, the judge will determine parenting arrangements in child custody cases based on the “best interests of the child,” giving weight to parents who have demonstrated capacity and disposition to also put the child’s best interests first.

If you need help understanding the factors that determine the “best interests of the child” and what you can do to prove your capacity and disposition, consult a divorce and family law attorney.

I have over 25 years of experience in the practice of family and marital law in the state of Florida. If you have questions about divorce, child support, shared parental responsibility, time-sharing/parenting time, and parenting plans, contact Debora A. Diaz Esquire at 727-846-1802 to schedule a consultation or use the Scheduling Link: https://deboradiazlawscheduling.as.me/.

At this time, all consultations are by telephone or remote video conferencing in order to protect our staff and clients.

Attorney Diaz practices exclusively in divorce and family law in Florida. Debora A. Diaz is also a Florida Supreme Court Certified Family Mediator

www.deboradiazlaw.com What is a Guardian Ad Litem

In the state of Florida, a guardian ad litem is typically appointed in certain high-conflict cases between parents regarding the well-being of their child or children. The role of the guardian ad litem is governed by Florida’s statute 61.403. The guardian ad litem helps investigate the dispute and ensures that the child’s best interests are fully protected. If a guardian ad litem is appointed in your case, then it’s vital that you understand their role in the process.

Definition

As previously mentioned, under Florida law, a guardian ad litem is a person appointed by the court who is tasked with acting as a child’s ‘next friend.’ While the guardian’s duty is to protect the child’s best interest, guardian ad litem is not a child’s advocate or lawyer. The best way is to think of a guardian ad litem as an evaluator or an investigator.

What Does a Guardian ad Litem Do?

In short, a guardian ad litem (GAL) is a fact finder.  The GAL is an investigator who works on behalf of the court, with the purpose of determining what is best for the child in the case. A guardian ad litem may conduct interviews with parents, and they may also speak to the child directly. Their investigation is detailed, so, as a parent, make sure to keep open communication and a respectful and positive relationship.

What is Florida’s ‘Best Interest of the Child’ Standard?

Under Florida law, family law courts look to the ‘best interest of the child’ legal standard. As such, it can make judgments in child custody and time-sharing disputes. The guardian ad litem is in essence a neutral party who will work to ensure that a child’s physical safety, emotional well-being, and psychological health are adequately protected.

The guardian ad litem can help the court by obtaining any required expert examinations from doctors, dentists, therapists, or psychologists. Aside from the child, he or she can request the court to order expert examinations of the child’s parents, as well as other interested parties. The guardian ad litem can also request the court to provide access to any of those reports or ask the court to order examinations of other parties, such as parents.

The Thoughts of the Guardian ad Litem

An appointed guardian ad litem can comment on any proposed agreement between the parents that can affect the child. A guardian ad litem can, through counsel, be present at any proceeding, including hearings and depositions. He or she can also require the attendance of witnesses through counsel.

The Florida court relies on the guardian’s opinion and takes his or her recommendation very seriously. However, the judge makes the final decision. In other words, a court cannot delegate decisions to a guardian ad litem, for the supreme authority belongs to the judge.

Takeaway

The guardian ad litem’s ultimate goal is to advocate for the best interests of the child or children. He or she is not appointed for the interests of either parent or any other party.

If you would like to discuss the specifics of your divorce or paternity case or need help with other family law issues call Debora A. Diaz Esquire at 727-846-1802 to schedule a consultation or use the Scheduling Link: https://deboradiazlawscheduling.as.me/.  At this time, all consultations are by telephone or video conferencing in order to protect our staff and clients.

Attorney Diaz practices exclusively in divorce and family law in Florida. Debora A. Diaz is also a Florida Supreme Court Certified Family Mediator and she has served as a guardian ad litem in many cases.

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As Frank Salvato wrote, “Love doesn’t die a natural death. Love has to be killed, either by neglect or narcissism.” If you have been married to a narcissist, you are certainly painfully aware of this fact. Although almost everyone occasionally exhibits narcissistic qualities, a full-scale narcissistic personality disorder is believed to affect around 5% of women in America and about 8% of men. And if you think being married to such a person is tough, you better brace yourself if you are planning on divorcing one. This is why we believe you deserve to know everything that can ease the process you are about to go through.

What is a Narcissist?

Many people think a narcissist is someone who is simply ‘full of themselves,’ typically boasting or bragging about their accomplishments, and who is generally annoying to everyone. However, this is not the case with a true narcissistic personality disorder, which encompasses traits like a total lack of empathy for others, an over-inflated sense of self-importance, having difficulty in relationships, and an insatiable need for attention.

Though a narcissist may appear confident, he or she may possess delicate self-esteem and can be easily hurt by even the smallest amount of criticism. Narcissists often have difficulties in many areas of their lives – relationships, at work or school, and other difficulties that can find their way into other important parts of their lives.

The Impact of Narcissistic Traits on a Divorce

Some typical traits a person divorcing a narcissist might encounter are their need to always be right, their need to be seen as a ‘good’ person, their resentfulness, or their highly critical behavior. Probably the worst trait is that they have no interest in resolving conflicts.

As a partner of such a person, you have probably already experienced these traits in your marriage. These traits are the reason why compromise, mediation, or any other type of cooperation can be difficult, and in order to succeed, you need an experienced attorney to guide you through the process.

Expect Potential Threats

In essence, divorcing a narcissist is your open message of rejection. This is why narcissists may respond aggressively because this is a direct attack on their ego. They may threaten you with taking your children away or taking everything, you have. They can threaten you with high child support or spousal support, and they may even bully you with prognoses such as, “You and the kids will be penniless if you try to divorce me,” or “You’ll regret this.”

If there is any form of abuse, share this with your lawyer and try to stay calm. When the narcissist thinks he or she is losing you. A narcissist will try to do anything to convince you that you will be much worse without them.

Important Actions You Can Take to Stay Ahead

1.Make copies of important documents relating to your marital assets – the narcissist will try to convince his spouse that any assets acquired during the marriage are their assets only. This is a typical manipulation tactic, and it is also false. You can get ahead by obtaining documentation of the marital assets before they attempt to hide them from the court.

2. Have a support system – when going through such an ordeal as divorcing a narcissist, it is smart to get a therapist. You might be dealing with PTSD, so it is advisable to join a support group or find someone who has also divorced a narcissist.

3. Be reasonable, even when your spouse is not – one of the smartest things to do while dealing with a narcissist is to remain calm and collected. No matter how irritated or hurt you feel, stay clear of any kind of violent language, oral or written, that can be recorded or printed and brought to court. Remember, a narcissist will try to engage you in conflict just to make the divorce process more difficult than it already is.

4. Set firm boundaries – it is smart to set boundaries and even completely cut off any communication with your narcissist partner and communicate solely through your attorneys.

Takeaway

Divorce in Florida is challenging for anyone, but the stakes are higher when divorcing a narcissist. Besides hiring an experienced divorce attorney, it is important to be prepared, legally, and psychologically, for what is to come.

If you would like to discuss the specifics of your divorce or paternity case or need help with other family law issues call Debora A. Diaz Esquire at 727-846-1802 to schedule a consultation or use the Scheduling Link: https://deboradiazlawscheduling.as.me/.  At this time, all consultations are by telephone or video conferencing in order to protect our staff and clients.  

Attorney Diaz practices exclusively in divorce and family law in Florida. Debora A. Diaz is also a Florida Supreme Court Certified Family Mediator.

www.deboradiazlaw.com   How to Change My Name in Florida After Divorce

Going through a divorce is always a tough thing to handle, and it is probably one of the most stressful events you will ever go through in your life. Even after the divorce is finalized, you still have to deal with restoring your maiden name if you desire, and the process can be tedious. Here are a few steps to take to change your name and make the process a bit easier:

1. Name Change Order

If you decide to legally change your name in the state of Florida, make sure you request that your name be restored in your Petition for Dissolution of Marriage. Even if it was not requested in the initial pleadings the Petition may be able to be amended to request the restoration of your former name.  At the Final Hearing, the court will ask some statutory questions to ensure that the request for the name change is not for an illegal purpose.  Once the name change is granted your restored name will be in your Final Judgment (Order).  The Final Judgment serves as proof of identification and proof of age to be able to change and use your restored name. You will need several certified copies of the Final Judgment to provide government entities, banks, and other institutions.

2. Social Security Card

Changing your name with the Social Security Administration is one of the most important steps of this process. Make sure to take a certified copy of the Name Change Order you were given from the court. After this, you only have to wait for your new Social Security Card to arrive in the mail. Once you receive it, you can continue with your name change process.

3.Other Documents

You will have to let other institutions and agencies know of your name change. Every institution will have its own procedure to follow. To name a few:

Driver’s License – One of the most important documents to acquire is your driver’s license. You will have to physically go to the Tax Collector’s Office and bring proper identification to get everything done.

Voter Registration Card – Make sure you can vote when needed by changing your voter registration. To update the name on your existing voter registration, you will have to submit a certified copy of the Court Order.

Insurance – Make sure to notify all of your insurance companies (life, auto, home, health, dental, etc.). For some, you can start the process over the phone or online, and you will need a copy of the Court Order.

Your Employer – You will have to provide a copy of the Court Order to your employer so they can make the necessary changes to your logins, email, paychecks, and other information with your name.

Financial Institutions – Don’t forget that you need to inform your financial institutions ( bank, credit card company, IRA, and 401k) of your name change, so call, contact them online, or go complete this process in person.

Housing – If you rent, you will have to notify your landlord, and if you own your place, you will have to update your mortgage information. A copy of the Court Order may be necessary, so have it with you.

Service Providers – This can be a long list of people to inform of your name change and may include doctors, dentists, pharmacists, veterinarians, utilities, magazines, and more.

If you would like to discuss the specifics of your divorce or paternity case or need help with changing your name, call Debora A. Diaz Esquire at 727-846-1802 to schedule a consultation or use the Scheduling Link: https://deboradiazlawscheduling.as.me/.

Debora A. Diaz is also a Florida Supreme Court Certified Family Mediator.

At this time, all consultations are by telephone or video conferencing in order to protect our staff and clients.  Attorney Diaz practices exclusively in divorce and family law in Florida.