Divorce Mediation
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A Checklist for a Good Divorce Mediation
Ever since the concept of mediation and alternative methods in divorce disputes was introduced in Florida in the 1980s, it has quickly become one of the most popular ways to handle divorces. Today, divorce mediation is always the first option offered (in some counties, it’s even required by law) and the preferred way to reach the desired solution for both parties.
As divorce is always very stressful and emotional for the entire family, and it’s best to be ready for everything that will come. Here’s a checklist that should help you handle the mediation well:
- Be aware that mediators are appointed by the court.
Many are not aware, but mediators are not required to be attorneys by law. This means that they may not be as familiar with the law as divorce attorneys are. If the parties qualify for court-ordered mediation the mediator is assigned randomly by the court. The parties can also decide to choose a private mediator. The parties will pay the mediator’s hourly rate which is usually higher than the court assigned mediator. A mediator is a neutral party who will mediate between you and your spouse, without taking sides and without giving legal advice. If you choose to try mediation before filing your action, you will have to be prepared.
- Be ready for all the costs.
Divorces often end up having several unplanned expenses, which is why it’s vital to be prepared. If you do not have a lawyer ask the mediator about the costs involved so you can make adequate plans in advance and don’t end up being overwhelmed by the cost.
As the mediator is a neutral third party in the divorce, the costs are usually split between you and your spouse and you should discuss how to do it in advance. Payment will be required at time of mediation.
- Have an open mind.
The very point of mediation is to avoid messy disputes and resolve the divorce cordially. If you want that to happen, you will have to keep an open mind. Be prepared to find the middle ground with your spouse. Be prepared to think outside of the box and consider alternative solutions. Be prepared to compromise.
- Keep your feelings to yourself!
Divorces often get messy and emotional, and it’s hard to avoid that. However, you still need to try to keep your emotions and frustrations to yourself. Always remember, the purpose of the divorce is to handle the financial and time-sharing arrangements.
- Try to agree on some things before mediation starts.
In many divorce cases, couples can agree on a lot of things on their own. If you feel that this is true in your case, you and your spouse should try to agree on some things before the first mediation session begins.
- Organize!
Create a list of all your assets, including the debts you have. Then prepare all financial information and statements. What personal property do you want?
- If you have children, work out the time-sharing arrangements.
If there are children always keep in mind the best interest of the children. Will the time-sharing be good for the children? Is the time-sharing manageable? Will the children have to spend a lot of time traveling?
Work out what kind of time-sharing schedule works best for you, but make sure you are putting the children’s needs first.
- Maintain the status quo!
Nothing will be gained by making demands from your spouse and setting ultimatums. Once again, you have to keep an open mind and try to be civil at all times. That’s the only way for both sides to feel that things are going well. However, in some cases, you will also have to make concessions you don’t want to make, and you need to be ready for it.
- Let the mediator be your guide.
In the end, the whole mediation process can only go well if you choose the right mediator and let them help to find the best resolution for both you and your spouse.
Debora A. Diaz can be that person for you. She is a Supreme Court Certified Family Mediator and a practicing attorney who deals with divorces and family law cases. In essence, she can help you be being either your attorney or a mediator to both you and your spouse. Contact us so we can schedule an appointment with her and discuss your situation.
Please note: If you are calling because you and your spouse (or the other party) want to schedule a Mediation, please let our staff know up-front so we retain the neutrality required for Mediation. If you are interested in the Collaborative Divorce process, let us know and we will send you information and/or discuss it with you during the initial consultation.
If you would like to discuss the specifics of your divorce case, call Debora A. Diaz Esquire at 727-846-1802 to schedule a consultation or use the Scheduling Link: https://
Debora A. Diaz is also a Florida Supreme Court Certified Family Mediator.
At this time, all consultations are by telephone or video conferencing in order to protect our staff and clients. Attorney Diaz practices exclusively in divorce and family law issues in Florida.
Written by Debora A. Diaz, Esq.