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As Frank Salvato wrote, “Love doesn’t die a natural death. Love has to be killed, either by neglect or narcissism.” If you have been married to a narcissist, you are certainly painfully aware of this fact. Although almost everyone occasionally exhibits narcissistic qualities, a full-scale narcissistic personality disorder is believed to affect around 5% of women in America and about 8% of men. And if you think being married to such a person is tough, you better brace yourself if you are planning on divorcing one. This is why we believe you deserve to know everything that can ease the process you are about to go through.
What is a Narcissist?
Many people think a narcissist is someone who is simply ‘full of themselves,’ typically boasting or bragging about their accomplishments, and who is generally annoying to everyone. However, this is not the case with a true narcissistic personality disorder, which encompasses traits like a total lack of empathy for others, an over-inflated sense of self-importance, having difficulty in relationships, and an insatiable need for attention.
Though a narcissist may appear confident, he or she may possess delicate self-esteem and can be easily hurt by even the smallest amount of criticism. Narcissists often have difficulties in many areas of their lives – relationships, at work or school, and other difficulties that can find their way into other important parts of their lives.
The Impact of Narcissistic Traits on a Divorce
Some typical traits a person divorcing a narcissist might encounter are their need to always be right, their need to be seen as a ‘good’ person, their resentfulness, or their highly critical behavior. Probably the worst trait is that they have no interest in resolving conflicts.
As a partner of such a person, you have probably already experienced these traits in your marriage. These traits are the reason why compromise, mediation, or any other type of cooperation can be difficult, and in order to succeed, you need an experienced attorney to guide you through the process.
Expect Potential Threats
In essence, divorcing a narcissist is your open message of rejection. This is why narcissists may respond aggressively because this is a direct attack on their ego. They may threaten you with taking your children away or taking everything, you have. They can threaten you with high child support or spousal support, and they may even bully you with prognoses such as, “You and the kids will be penniless if you try to divorce me,” or “You’ll regret this.”
If there is any form of abuse, share this with your lawyer and try to stay calm. When the narcissist thinks he or she is losing you. A narcissist will try to do anything to convince you that you will be much worse without them.
Important Actions You Can Take to Stay Ahead
1.Make copies of important documents relating to your marital assets – the narcissist will try to convince his spouse that any assets acquired during the marriage are their assets only. This is a typical manipulation tactic, and it is also false. You can get ahead by obtaining documentation of the marital assets before they attempt to hide them from the court.
2. Have a support system – when going through such an ordeal as divorcing a narcissist, it is smart to get a therapist. You might be dealing with PTSD, so it is advisable to join a support group or find someone who has also divorced a narcissist.
3. Be reasonable, even when your spouse is not – one of the smartest things to do while dealing with a narcissist is to remain calm and collected. No matter how irritated or hurt you feel, stay clear of any kind of violent language, oral or written, that can be recorded or printed and brought to court. Remember, a narcissist will try to engage you in conflict just to make the divorce process more difficult than it already is.
4. Set firm boundaries – it is smart to set boundaries and even completely cut off any communication with your narcissist partner and communicate solely through your attorneys.
Takeaway
Divorce in Florida is challenging for anyone, but the stakes are higher when divorcing a narcissist. Besides hiring an experienced divorce attorney, it is important to be prepared, legally, and psychologically, for what is to come.
If you would like to discuss the specifics of your divorce or paternity case or need help with other family law issues call Debora A. Diaz Esquire at 727-846-1802 to schedule a consultation or use the Scheduling Link: https://deboradiazlawscheduling.as.me/. At this time, all consultations are by telephone or video conferencing in order to protect our staff and clients.
Attorney Diaz practices exclusively in divorce and family law in Florida. Debora A. Diaz is also a Florida Supreme Court Certified Family Mediator.